Country Boys Head Out to the Big City

I got the chance to skidaddle out of Siavonga the other day. We needed to get some supplies from Lusaka, Zambia’s capital, for construction on the Namumu poultry house (formerly the piggery) and for our welding guys. We hired a large truck and I joined Vincent, our head welder, and Kelly, our maintenance officer that is helping with the poultry construction, on the trip. It wasn’t too exciting, but there were a few highlights that I thought I’d share from our journey:

As you might imagine, you don’t pass many fast food restaurants on the three hour-ish drive from Siavonga up to Lusaka. So, whenever the driver felt like it was time for a pit stop we’d pull onto the shoulder and everybody did their business right on the roadside. Nobody seemed to make too much of an effort to move away from the road and into the tall grasses, either, just taking a few steps to the side. During college, I often made the claim that one of my favorite things about being in college, if not my favorite thing, was the fact that it was more or less socially acceptable for guys to pee just about anywhere. Needless to say, these impromptu pit stops don’t bother me much.

Once in Lusaka, a random guy shouted, “Hey, Chuck Norris!” at me again. True story. Oddly enough, it was at almost exactly the same time of day in the exact same area of town as the last time. Major déjà vu. I’m pretty sure it was a different guy this time, though. He immediately proceeded to run me down and ask me for money, which, for me, lessened the impact of the compliment, since I’m pretty sure he was just buttering me up before making his request. Then again, maybe he thought I actually was Chuck Norris and therefore had a lot of money to throw around. I guess we’ll never know.

Later on, I experienced my first Zambian theft on the streets of Lusaka. I was sitting up in the front seat of the truck and Vincent was sitting in the back with all the supplies. It’s a big, 3-ton truck (looks like a big pick-up) and we had a lot of our supplies scattered in the back. We had bought some big supplies, like lumber, chicken wire and metal sheets, and some small ones in bags, like nails, paint and thinner. As we were rolling up to a stop light this skeezy looking guy casually walked up beside the truck, snatched a few of the bags and started walking away.

Vincent must have been day-dreaming because he didn’t see it. The driver did, though, in one of his side mirrors. I jumped out and ran after the guy and so did Vincent. The guy was a total pansy. He dropped the bags and ran behind a building. I had time to yell out a few things about what I’d like to do to him, things that God was probably not happy about, before collecting the items and jumping back in the car. Learned my lesson on that one. You have to watch out in the big city.