Sam Cross: Entertainer, Marriage Counselor

A few more random updates from Namumu-land…

-- I made a trip out into the bush to see Vincent Luubi at his home the other day. Vincent, you may recall, is Namumu’s head welder. He’s tall, lanky and very goofy. He’s a good man. He works hard and he takes care of his family.

You also may recall that, for some inexplicable reason, Vincent named one of his children after me. His youngest son is Samuel Steven Luubi. I made it out to their little hut the other day and had a nice little visit.

Samuel was looking good. Samuel was looking fat. He’d significantly plumped up since I’d last seen him, that much was obvious. I guess he’s taken after his namesake in that respect. I teased him relentlessly about it...luckily I think he's too young to understand and won’t have the self-esteem issues I’ve had lately, what with everyone telling me how fat I am.

Anyway, it was good to see him. I got a great photo of the two of us together and will post it if I get a chance.


--I’ve had a lot of fun walking through the local village recently, either on the way to the harbor in the morning or to the market to get food. It’s great to see all of my old friends again.

I found the secret long ago to befriending all the kids out in the village. Juggling. A few of the local kids found out I knew how to juggle and they ask me to do it every time I walk by. Holy crap they go crazy. I mean they lose their minds. Obviously this speaks more to the lack of stimulation they are experiencing out in the village than to my actual juggling skills, but whatever. It’s nice to entertain people. So, now, every time I walk by, the kids say something in Tonga akin to “Dance, monkey, dance!” and I am all too happy to oblige.


--The Grade 7 students at Namumu Community School recently finished up their big Grade 7 Examinations. As you may recall, these examinations are very, very important all across the nation, and can often determine the educational futures of these kids. Last year the Namumu kids did very well. Two of the children boarding at Namumu, Brenda and Christopher, did well enough to qualify to go to two different prestigious boarding schools. We hope to have similar results this year. The results should come out in December or January, so please keep our kids in your thoughts and prayers.


--Finally, I’ll end with an interesting encounter I had yesterday morning on the way to the harbor…

I was walking up the big dirt hill that leads towards town and the harbor and a man of about 30 came onto the road from a side path and started walking beside me. We greeted each other and continued walking. I start off around 5 am each morning, so I’m always a little bleary-eyed. I’ll greet most everybody but I don’t usually make much of an effort to have a conversation at this point in the day unless they do first. This guy did.

“Yes, sir, I’m having a problem at home…”

I’ve heard this conversation-starter probably five thousand times since I’ve been living in Zambia. It’s almost always about not having enough money or food and every single time it ends with them asking me for money. It’s tough. These people have been completely shafted and have little opporunity to un-shaft themselves. Of course I want to help them. Sometimes I can. Most of the time I can’t. I usually try to talk to them and tell them how sorry I am and give them a pat on the back and say it’s going to be alright even though usually I know it might not be. Anyway, with this guy I prepared for the same old spiel.

He continued on. “I’m going to the court later today to ask the judge to be lenient towards my wife.”

Wooooah, I thought. What a conversation stater that was. Here’s one I haven’t heard before. This one sounds interesting.

“What did your wife do?” I asked, curiously.

“She burned me. She burned me very badly,” he said.

No, no, my friends, this was not an emotional burning. This one was physical. This guy’s wife had thrown boiling-hot water at his back when she was angry at him. He told me about the incident, saying that she had heard rumors (false rumors, he insisted) that he had been keeping a girlfriend in a nearby village. She got pissed off one night and gooshed him with the water.

He lifted up his shirt and showed me and my reaction was just like Billy Madison’s when Ernie shows him that he’d wet his pants…”What do you mean your wife burned y……Goooooooo!!!” It looked terrible.

I spent the rest of the walk patting him on the back (metaphorically speaking...a literal patting might have killed him) and telling him that I’m sure he could find a way to work it out. He said he had forgiven her and that he hoped they could make things right. I don’t have much marriage counseling experience, but I tried to do my best.

I felt bad for the guy, but at least it was more entertaining than the usual “I need money” speech…