Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Tonga Bride Price

I have an important issue I need to discuss.

I'm not quite sure how it started, but I was talking the other day with some of my co-workers and the issue of marriage came up.

Actually, I do know how it came up. Esther (Munjongo's wife) was giving me a hard time about how dirty my pants always are and Zenzo, one of Namumu's accountants, offered to help find me a wife that will cook and clean for me.

He started out the conversation saying, "You know, Sam, there are some very cheap Tonga women around these parts...I can make that happen."

Apparently I can have my pick. Awesome.

However, there is one catch. Getting a wife ain't cheap. 'Round these parts, traditionally the husband is supposed to pay a hefty sum to the bride's family in order to marry her.

Zenzo told me the going rate out here is around 10 heads of cattle. Since 1 head of cattle is costing around K1,500,000 (about US $300), I'm going to need around US $3,000 to make this happen.

The life of a bachelor is taking its toll on me. I don't know how much more cooking and cleaning I can take.

Anybody with $3,000 back home want to help me out?

9 comments:

  1. Sam,
    Continue with the two girls who are doing the sweeping and laundry. I'm sure you can find another to do the cooking. It's cheaper. Also, my support money is NOT to go toward the bride price!!

    Sharon

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  2. I'm heading up to the 7-11 to buy some scratch-off tickets!

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  3. I think you could find a few hometown girls for a more reasonable price (in the currency of charm, wit, a long list of African stories). Plus you could speak to American mothers in English.

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  4. Ok ok, I guess it has to be me then to start with the donations.

    I pledge $100

    JJ

    only kidding.

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  5. As Paul said the day he bought Heather's diamond...
    "Mom, this is only the beginning."

    I'm sure that is the case even in Africa!

    Janet

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  6. SAM!!
    I am sure you don't have to "buy" a wife!! If you were trying to get our attention...it worked!! Besides Chris Wade would be very disappointed if you did not come home!! He'll help you fine a wife!

    I agree with Sharon...just fine another girl to help you cook and you will have it made!

    Chris and I saw Chuck Norris on TV this morning and he said you "do" look like him...he said he was going to call you "Chuckie" when you get home!! :)Bet you can't wait!!

    Take care of yourself!
    Joni

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  7. Sam, there's no way you'll find someone in the states for under $10,000. I say make your move. Heck, buy one for me!

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