My Name is Uncle Chuck Norris

If I were back home sitting around in the Crestwood High School Sunday School Circle my GT and BT (Good Thing and Bad Thing for all you non-Crestwoodians…or Crestwoodites…or Crestwoodans…whatever) would be pretty easy to pin down this week.

My BT would undoubtedly be that I spent an entire evening this week battling with food poisoning. Not fun. But, don’t worry, after spending an entire night rolling on the floor of my bathroom moaning (sadly not a joke) I am alive and well.

So that sucked.

However, my GT, I think you will agree, more than makes up for my BT.

There are certain members of the staff at Namumu whom the children see and speak with on a daily basis. The children refer to these men and women as “Uncle So-and-So” or “Auntie So-and-So”. Now that I’ve been around long enough, I’ve been upgraded to “Uncle” status, which is awesome. And as if that wasn’t cool enough, not only am I referred to as “Uncle” now, but most of the girls are even calling me “Uncle Chuck Norris” on a regular basis. I know, it sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? I assure you, it is indeed true.

So, there you have my GT and my BT. I think every other experience of the week would fall somewhere in between those two extremes.

My relationship with my next-door neighbors has progressed quite a bit as of late. It’s been a bit difficult getting to know them for a number of reasons. First and foremost, the two adult women and some of the others speak very little English. English is the official national language in Zambia and they teach it in the schools, but since we are in a very rural area (the few white people I’ve met here are impressed that I can survive out here in “The Bush”…hah) a good number of people haven’t had much schooling and therefore haven’t learned much English and therefore speak mostly Tonga. Like these two women, Mrs. Syanjoka and Sister Syanjoka.

Another problem has been that there is a constantly shifting cast of characters next door. Family members seem to shift around a lot in Africa, sometimes living here with parents, sometimes living there with Aunts and Uncles, etc. It’s tough to get to know people when they are coming and going so often.

But, since I’m rocking and rolling with my Tonga I can joke around a bit with the two older women and everyone else now. I’ve got a long way to go, but at least I’ve moved beyond the basic greetings. I think they appreciate it. So I chat with the adults in Tonga, chat with the teenagers in English, and basically just toss the little ones up in the air whenever I see them.

Innocent is still ridiculous. At least three times a day I see his mother, Sister Syanjoka, try to put pants on him and him proceed to drop them and run away from them mere moments later. That’s my boy. He actually cried the other morning because I left him to go to work, so that made me feel good.

Junior, the son of Mrs. Syanjoka, is the other pants-less rascal. He’s about 1 year old. Junior was the last hold-out against being my friend. He’s the little guy who would start crying and crawl to his mother whenever he saw me. After three months we’re finally cool. No crying. He even laughs at me sometime now. So, now he likes me. Still hates his pants, though.

My main communicator next door is Cholwe, a 13 year-old boy whose English is pretty good. He’s a nice kid and he teaches me Tonga.

I get to interact with everybody quite a bit because almost all of their waking hours are spent right out behind our house, in the open area between our home and our gardens. The women just kind of hang around and sit all day, sometimes washing clothes and sometimes cooking, and the kids, when they aren’t at school, do the same (like I said, we’re in The Bush…not always a lot going on).

So they talk and play games and mess around in the garden and basically just hang out all day. And you know what? I think everybody’s pretty satisfied with life. The children play and the adults watch the children play. And now that I’m speaking Tonga I can sit and join the party.

So, there’s my week. I hope all is well back in the States. Keep the comments coming.

Sincerely,

Uncle Chuck Norris